May your latest relationship last longer than a seal during Shark Week.

Good luck to Republicans on finding a better way to appeal to Latinos than fake tanning.

I can do in one day what others can do in one hour.

Your driving couldn't possibly get worse

As a show of support while you study for the bar exam, I'll barely mention my many leisure activities

If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you should do it the way I told you to in the beginning.